When I was in grade school, partically the transition between elementary and middle school, the term self-esteem would get thrown around a lot. It was treated like a hot commodity that could be taken away in an instant via a slippery slope of bad decisions. (On an aside, I did a bit of research, and my school totally used those "Too Good For Drugs" workbooks from the Mendez Foundation.) I don't remember a lot from those lessons, nothing that's particularly relevant to this piece at least, but I do remember the general message: Stick up for yourself, and be proud of yourself.
Flash forward to high school and I realize how bad untreated depression can get. I'd known for a few years at that point that I probably was "wrong" in some way. Hell, I had given the correct answers on a mental health test at my pediatrician's and then retracted them quickly just to confirm my suspicions. I thought I'd get by, but it caught up with me. Now, I think four wellness checks later, I feel like every day starts on a tightrope.
You really can't stick up for yourself when you can't look in the mirror and see someone worth sticking up for.
Unfortunately our outward appearance is tied to our mental health on both a personal and societal level. However, that same society can destroy you if you don't conform to the (thankfully expanding) beauty standard. It's not even a direct destruction either, it's subliminal, such as not seeing people like you portrayed on film or online.
From there I could very easily go into how being transgender has made life hard, and how the dissonance between my appearance and my essence has been detrimental to my state of being. However, I want to go in a different direction.
Beauty standards and health are in a very loose relationship of correlation not equaling causation, I'd like to make that perfectly clear. However, feeling pretty has positive effects on mental health. I did some digging into some papers on the topic and found this quote from a study on Body Perception, "Body image satisfaction can serve as a protective factor, bolstering self-esteem, fostering positive social interactions, and promoting healthy lifestyle choices.". (This topic could likely become an essay if I zero in my thoughts!)
The problem, as far as I've experienced, lies in the hurdles individuals must navigate to feel pretty when "pretty" has been defined for them. This can be branched out—like most things—into a systemic issue of how beauty and it's standard are presented, which I already touched upon. The rise in anxiety and insecurity due to social media outlets pushing algorithms onto people who're none the wiser is another obvious—but not overstated—factor of this aswell.
In truth being healthily pretty comes from comfortability, most people are fine as they are! It's a direction the world is going towards, and I'm glad for it! I do have complaints, such as spaces and communities that onces accepted everyone becoming consumerised—your typical alternative spaces began succumbing to this during the turn of the decade. The common internet trend of a... "goth dommy mommy" is an indication of that to me. However, if it leads to widespread self-acceptance and social acceptance for those who look unconventional, or style and carry themselves differently, then it should work out. We're only at the start of that road though.
However, with that all said... what if you overcorrect?
The reason I wrote this post yelling to the void about my problems with the world was because of a dental issue. Since I was a little kid I had this tic where'd I'd suck my bottom lip. It's an action I do whenever under the covers of my particular blanket and later expanded into being involuntary whenever I'm in need of comfort. Only problem is I never stopped. It was only today that I stared for a little too long in the mirror that I noticed it: My top row of teeth is turning out. I knew my back row was pushed in slightly, but my top row is bad. Doctors tried invisalign before but it was so uncomfortable and I was such a stubborn child that I refused to wear it.
My message before says that once we're comfortable with ourselves and our appearance our mental health will improve, but what happens when a bad habit that makes us comfortable is destroying our physical health? I've heard people who're obese say that they'd rather live fast and eat happy, but when my bite has become as bad as it is I wonder if that's really true. I wonder if the fear of death—hell even just the fear of inconvenience in our modern world—is enough for people to change and go towards a more healthy path. Regular exercise, balanced meals, time educating themselves: Personal growth.
I don't know, honestly speaking. However, for myself, I know I need to get my damn teeth fixed!
Articles and papers I'd want to look at to write a proper essay on this topic are listed for myself below, I'd reccomend giving them a read: