I'm listening to YOU CRY LOVE. by jev. and putting off watching five AP Classroom videos for Physics right now, very normal day. I just wanted to post a blog to get out of my morning slump and touchbase with myself on my life.

First quarter of my senior year ended last Friday! Grades got finalized Tuesday and I made the Principal's List. I'm finally back in the swing of things, I just need to keep it up. Funnily enough, I actually had off Tuesday and had to go for bloodwork in the morning. After getting it done at like eight in the morning I was hit with a strange sense of nostalgia. It was flurrying earlier, the air was crisp, and there was only one thing going through my brain.

"Today Feels like a Toys'R'Us day."

ToysRUs holds a special place in my heart, and being a massive fan of everything Thomas the Tank Engine for what is essentially my whole life, I found myself reminiscing about the old Thomas aisle that was in my local ToysRUs. There was something about the older toys made of Sir Topham Hatt's Engines that had a whole different feel to the ones made today. Of course, most of that feeling probably comes from the dopamine boost you get from getting a new toy as a child being far different to the feeling you get from it as you get older.

Of course, my local ToysRUS is now closed, and so me and mom ended up going to the mall so she could buy a birthday gift for my Trump-obsessed brother and so I could go to the comic store and pick up a bunch of manga. I ended up getting a few things, but the highlights are volume two of The Summer You Were There by Yuama. I seriously need to get the rest of the series. It's kinda simple, but so fun to read. I also got a Greatest Hits collection of Lupin III works, which is awesome! Of course, once it was time to go, I asked if we could stop at WalMart. In part because we needed to buy tissues, but also because I figured I could check for what feels like the 17th time for the new 2025 Metal Collection Thomas toys.

And when I say that was the most narritvely satisfying culmination of the day, oh girl. I found almost all of them. Thoams, Percy, Henry, James, and the multipack with the exclusive Thomas and the Annie & Clarabel reissues. I ended up picking one of each [two in Thomas' case] engine's single release, so one could stay in the box and I could play with the one's from the multipack. Thinking about it today, I feel kind of weird keeping them in box. There's something that just feels off about leaving the poor things unplayed with. Toy Story had a very big affect on me as a kid, if you can't tell.

Besides that life's been kind of slow, besides the college process. My stupid essay has been making me uneasy, as I don't know what to write about myself. I've tossed ideas around my head, but it doesn't feel like enough; I don't feel like enough. I know I need to do this though, and I need to get a job in who-knows-what-field to make money and survive. I don't even care what I do, I feel like no matter what it is I'm going to be miserable, unless I become a writer, but I don't feel good enough to be a writer. I guess that's something I should go to college for then, but no one in my family would want that - hell even some of my friends would think it's a bad idea because it's unstable. Tough shit.

However, on a positive note, inspired by the first few meetings of my Creative Writing Club going well, I did finally finish implementing the majority of the Writing page on the site! I just need to figure out what to put on the landing page and format something to put on the essay page while I don't have any essays I like well enough to go on there. I really hope any patrons to the page can check it out, I'm really proud of the stuff I've put up there so far.

Of course, being a writer, I also love reading. Remember Hani and Ishu's Guide to Fake Dating? I mentioned it in the last blog post. Well, since then, I started reading a new book every week. It's been insanely fun, so much so that I'm going to add a section on the homepage displaying the "Book of the Week". The image of the cover will have a tooltip display it's title and author, and I'm thinking if you click on it then it can either take you to a Goodreads page dedicated to the books I read every week, or I just make a page myself. Still not sure on that. Next weeks book is looking to be Spell Bound by F.T. Lukens, which is also looking to be the first straight romance I've read by choice haha.

All-in-all I think that's it... I'm not going to say my juice for updating the site has returned, as everytime I do it disappears, but I think I've become okay with the slower rate of progress compared to when I started in the summer. It's understandable to have happened. I'll catch you all later ;3